my happy ending

My Happy Ending"
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be,
but we lost it
And all the memories,
so close to me,
just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...




You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought
I knewAnd I thought we could be

[Chorus]
It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
[Chorus x2]Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

FUCK THE WORLD! FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK LOVE! FUCK RELATIONSHIPS! FUCK LIFE! FUCK THIS!

im single

bryan and i broke up today. i know its time that we break up. but i can accept it. i cant bring myself to realize that were not together anymore. its going to be so different. i ve been with him for so long. i dont know how to do this. i dont know how im going to get over him. i never felt so shitty in my life. never felt so pathetic!

handphones, bitchs and slutty outfits!

i have finally got a handphone..... do you see the pigs flying now!!! hahaha..... im really not used to this hp thing. i keep forgettin i have one. well im chattin to sweedish now, i always thought he was shy. but hes alright. were bitching bout someone and talking aabout me wanting to turn to a lesbo, hmmm maybe i have found a new bitch partner, i miss bitchin, hardly get to do it since rudy went to aussie. i miss bitching!!!!!!! ahhhh! i miss rudy! im hoping that we could get drunk when he gets back. i miss drinking! i want to drink myself silly on halloween. i think it would be entertaining for everyone to see someone in a really slutty outfit puking on the sidewalks. i have do something this halloween. any takers?

me triona me stalker

well i havent seen bryan in two weeks. he decided to avoid the world for awhile. i guess it was partially my fault. well after weeks of calling him like a freaking stalker and going over to his place to his see if he was there, i actually got him on the phone yeasterday. he told me he was avoidin everyone, he just needed to figure things out. i wished he had told me sooner that he wanted to take a break, all i knew was that he disappeared. i thought he was dead. well im glad that hes alrite! im actually happier! well i hope things turn out alrite for the both of us!

im a bitch and i wanna kill you

im having d&d tonight, and our group is too large that the dm has to kill a few of us. thats the fun part! since im in bitch mode i guess im going to help the dm kill some players. i feel sooooo bitchy!!!!!!!! im pissed off at something and i need to take it out on something! might as well do it in a game where it wont hurt anybody right?

know-it-all

ive been feeling rather bitch lately. i really dont like it when someone thinks he/she is a know-it-all! i mean if u want to be a know-it-all, at least know something!! i consider myself to be better in a certain field that this know-it-all was trying to be a know-it-all at. and he/she was tryin to tell me what to do and kept telling me that i was doing things wrong, i mean who died and made him/her king/queen of that field? i thought what i was doing in that field was the best i could do in that situation. i dont tolerate know-it-alls!!

i feel like shit!

i just had a tiny argument with wolf just now. he just said somethings that well hit me hard. well everything about bryan is really a sensitive topic rite now. i miss him dearly! i just want to tell him bad things thats been going on with me. but i dont even know where he is rite now. ill probably be seeing him tomorrow, but i came here hoping that he would be in the shop. he isnt. he went back to klang yesterday. i guess hes still there. i feel like shit!

dont know what to do

i cant stop crying. i cant stop thinking about him. everything reminds me of him. i just want to run away to him and hug him, but i cant! i dont know what to do....

try

my eyes are still swolen from crying my eyes out last night. hes given up! he doesnt want to try anymore. i noe wat he means, its just that its too complicated, all i ask of him is to spend time with me once a month, all i want is to feel love from him. but thats what he finds hard giving me. i guess maybe i expect too much out of him. we dont know what to do anymore. i think theres alot of great thing that happened in our relationship, and its worth trying for. i love him dearly! i dont want to lose him. i just hope his willing to try!

stalker

i have this problem, theres this dude that i know, the thing is he cant leave me alone! he keeps following me around. if i walk somewhere he follows me, i tried walking back and forth to his if he would follow me and he did! im getting really annoyed. and he even calls me like five times a day! i know he means no harm but its really annoying! i dont want to tell him off cos i feel im being to mean! why cant i be a bitch now!!! someone tell me what to do!

bitch/nice

sometimes i think im a real bitch! people think im really nice for some reason. why do people stil think ure nice after u have been a total bitch? dont understand! the more i think about it the bigger the bitch i think i am. but i dont mind being a bitch. im proud of being a bitch. avtually im only bitchy to people who are bitchy to me or people i dont like. so im still nice right?? who cares anyway...i sure dont!

new blogskin

ive got a new blogskin!!! i kinda got bored with my pink one so i needed a lil change. and what better to change with than orlando bloom!! (sigh) the problem is everytime i visit my blog i tend to forget what im supposed to do and stare and him for a long time. (drool) isnt he hot!!! (steaming) im happy!

whos suprised?

well the suprise party we were planning for wolf today was alrite! the thing is, he knew about it and he sorta tricked me. well in the end i was suprised! damn you wolf! the turnout was alrite, there was soooo much food. the auction was great, we did get alot of money...and half the money went to.. well...more food..pizzas! sheesh, these people can really eat alot! were going to a hotel room later and just plain lepak! at the moment everyone is in the cyber cafe playing dawn of war. its madness i tell you! men! (the truth is, i like playing too!) well i hope wolf is happy bout the party, even if he wasnt suprised. its the thought that counts rite.....???

dont want to fall to pieces

im sitting in a cyber cafe, everyone is playing dawn of war. but it feels like its just me in the room. i feel like my thoughts are speaking out loud. its a funny feeling. bryan isnt here, hes probably sleeping. for some reason i miss him so badly, when i walked in to the shop and he wasnt there, my heart just dropped. shaun is next to me, hes playing dawn of war and for some reason he doesnt believe me when i said the wall paper with eldar on, is actually doing acrobatics not because they were flung by the chaos land raider.....???? men never admit that they are wrong. he just refused to believe me, looked at me like i was mad or something! men!

i had a dream about bryan, i dreamt i got a phone call in the middle of the night. and it was someone saying that bryan got into an accident and he wasnt gonna live for very long. they said it would be lucky if he lived through the night. the thought of that happening was unbearable! i dont want to feel that way. i dont want to fall to pieces! i woke up just then thinking i heard the phone ringing. i panicked! thank got its just my imagination! but it made me realized that i really loved him and i cant bear to lose him.

ps: azmin was sitting next to me correcting my spelling....azmin....azmin...

velvet revolver - fall to pieces

Artist: Velvet Revolver
Album: Contraband
Title: Fall To Pieces

It's been a long year
Since you've been gone
I've been alone here
I've grown oldI fall to pieces,
I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling
Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to piecesI keep a journal of memories
I'm feeling lonely,
I can't breathe



fall to pieces,
I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling
All the years
I've tried
With more to go
Will the memories die
I'm waiting
Will I find you
Can I find you
We're falling downI'm falling