not related!

spent the whole day with my family yesterday, havent done it in a while. didnt think it would be that bad. i was wrong! my cousins are so superficial! as soon as they got there, they went on a frenzy cos they needed to put on their eyeliner! out of curiosity, i watched, they scrambled to get infront of the mirror, after about 15 mins of applying the eyeliner. 'omg, its not straight! i need make up remover! quick, get me the make up remover!!!!' then they spent more time reapplying it! 'do you think its straight?' 'oh god it not!' they are as indian as indian can get but they these phony accents and everything they say or do feels like it came out from a tv series! they think the coolest thing is the simple plan concert! like come on!!!! how the hell am i related to these fucking bimbos!

moody triona

been so bloody moody lately. could be pms! ive been bitch to my friends, im annoyed with everyone and everything! well whoever thats been the target of my bitchyness. i am sorry, im noy sure what the fuck its up with me. going through a phaze. im sure it will pass soon! thanks everyone who tolerated me too!

kittie-paperdoll

this is the next song were playing. honestly, i havent heard this song in ages so i dont remember it. and jamming is sooo soon!!!

Paperdoll-Kittie
I look at her in that paper dress
I wonder why she won't burn
She's just a paperdoll, that's all
Just a paperdoll
I dress her up, she knocks me down
I dress her up, she knocks me down
They try her on for size
She fits nice, one size fits all
They try her on for size
She fits nice, one size fits all
Now her soul is dead
Now her body's raw
You can numb her pain
Watch the blood run down her face
But don't take notice
Watch the blood run down her arms
Please don't take notice
I know you have her soul
I see it in your eyes
She knows you have her soul
She sees it in your eyes
Now her soul is dead
Now her body's raw
You can numb her pain
She wants you to ease her pain
She wants you to eat her remains
She wants you to ease her pain
She wants you to eat her remains
Now her soul is dead
Now her body's raw
Wash away her pain

there goes my social life

wasting my life again. been playing ps. goddamn suikoden two now! its taking my social life away!!!!!

broken wings-alter bridge

Alter Bridge-Broken Wings

Fight the fight alone
When the world is full of victims
Dims a fading light
In our souls
Leave the peace alone
How we all are slowly changing
Dims a fading light
In our Souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
the things we hold
are always first to go
and who’s to say
we won’t end up alone

On broken wings I’m falling
and it won’t be long
The skin on me is burning
By the fires of the sun
On skinned knees I’m bleeding
and it won’t be long
I’ve got to find that meaning
I’ll search for so long

Cry ourselves to sleep
We will sleep alone forever
Will you lay me down
In the same place with all I love
Mend the broken homes
Care for themthey are our brothers
Save the fading light in our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
What you givewill always carry you
And who’s to say
we won’t survive it too

On broken wings I’m falling
and it won’t be long
The skin on me is burning
By the fires of the sun
On skinned knees I’m bleeding
and it won’t be long
I’ve got to find that meaning
I’ll search for so long

Set afree all
Relying on their will
to make me all that I am
and all that I’ll be
Set afree all
Will fall between the cracks
with memories of all that I am
and all that I’ll be

On broken wings I’m falling
and it won’t be long
The skin on me is burning
By the fires of the sun
On skinned knees I’m bleeding
and it won’t be long
I’ve got to find that meaning
I’ll search for so long

gig at pauls place: home to me

went to a gig in pauls place yesterday. i had fun. the bands were really good. met up with lots of old friends there. lots of them were playing in the gig. managed to make a name out of my band. so they are expecting us soon. bands i would like to highlight are polaris, soft touch, seven, lovecraft. they were really good. thumbs up to polaris. they really put up a good show. had lots of fun listening to them. and to seven as well, i remember when i heard them play a long time ago, real improvement. you guys were great! good job arif for organizing the gig. i finally solved the mystery on why i had so many fliers at home! had loads of fun! cant wait for the next one. felt so much like home. i really missed it!

bite mark reborn; jam no 2

had a jam session yesterday. was pretty disappointed. the timing was really off. we werent sincronized. we need LOTS of practise. well the band is now called bite mark. we have a new drummer: shaz; a new guitarist: faizal; and michelle, blur and i are still around. we need to practise real hard guys. lets make it work!!

hello miss, you want to salsa?

my turn to have dramatic experiences

yesterday was such a hectic day! too many things happened! is god trying to punish me for being overly dramatic by making that one day full of drama. there was so much drama that even i couldnt take it. time to mellow down!

your hair is everywhere

your hair is everywhere
your hair is everywhere
your hair is everywhere
your hair is everywhere
your hair is everywhere
your hair is everywhere
your hair is everywhere
your hair is everywhere
your hair is everywhere

the big mistake

i looked into his eyes
and i knew then
he loves me
he never stopped loving me
everything was perfect
until he walked through door
everything went back to normal
whatever was rekindled
was lost
i lost the only chance to love him again
lost because of another man
the wrong man

cant keep me away

i dont understand how people would keep you apart from someone you really like. why? is he jaded! does he have a past? why would you try everything to keep us apart?

too much between us

too much in between

standing infront of you
mesmerized by the way you look at me
youre so close to me
i can almost feel you breathe
but youre too far away
i want to run my fingers through your hair
i want to feel your lips against mine
but theres too much space between us
lying together
never thought we be this way
but were not
the world devides us

metalingus-alter bridge

Alter Bridge-Metalingus

I’ve been defeated and brought down
Dropped to my knees
when hope ran out
The time has come to change my ways

On this dayI see clearly
Everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we’ll leave it all
Leave it all behind

I’ll never long for what might have been
Regret won’t waste my life again
I won’t look back I’ll fight to remain

On this dayI see clearly
Everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we’ll leave it all behind

On this dayIt’s so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel
Chance to feel alive

Fear will kill me
All I could be
Lift these sorrows
Let me breathe
Could you set me free
Could you set me free

On this dayI see clearly
Everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
We’ll leave it all behind

On this day
It’s so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel
Chance to feel alive

how would you feel

how would you feel if two best friends were intrested in you and you know if you chose you will hurt one of them? how would you feel if you and your best friend was going after the same person? how would you feel if everyone is trying to stop you and a person you like from getting together? how would you feel if you were being two-timed?

isnt it amazing

its amazing how a song could mean something so different and just one line of the song reminds you of something else. all it takes is one line and the song which was supposed to be about saving the wales would reming you of your special someone. its amazing, its funny...

your hair is everywhere

Dashboard Confessional
Screaming Infidelities..

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
& this bottle of beast is taking me home.
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
You're not alone & you're not discreet.
You make sure I know,
who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again.
There is not a word that I comprehend,
except when you signed it
"I will love you always & forever"

As for now
I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder,
how you're making out,
but as for me I wish that I was anywhere
with anyone making out

I'm missing your laugh,
how did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as your pretending.
I'm missing you bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to sleep.
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
Taking it's wear.

more wierd dreams

been having wierd dreams non stop.

'i was at a party and bryan was there, everyone was just chilling outside. bryan was ignoring me as usual. the this car drove up and started shooting. i was stunned. i didnt react, but bryan had pushed me down. and he got shot instead.'

'i had tried to kill myself and was in a coma. doctors were saying that i wouldnt make it out alive cos i wasnt fighting. then bryan comes to visit me in the hospital and i remember seeing my face and i was crying, eyes still closed. then when he held my hand i awoke from the coma, tears still streaming down my face.'

i had woken up from that dream with tears streaming down my face. felt so empty. so lost.

harassed

i dont understand the male species? do they really think they can pick us up by sexually harassing us? i have never had a day where i could walk on a street without someone yelling on top of their lungs bout the size of my breast! there has NEVER been a day where i have not been harassed. they make those wierd sounds to get your attention, they whistle at you, the yell vulgar things. whasupwithdat???

trip to the sky

wow. havent blogged in awhile. well we couldnt get tickets for the rave in genting. i think it was a rather tense trip. my temper flared a couple of times. took some cool pics up there.


the sky looks beautiful...

look theres something in the sky

gojirra....GOJJIRRRA.....(must be said in a japanese accent)

oh shit my skirt! goddamn wind!! andy, loco, ahmad and i

im cool... posers united. andy, myself and ahmad

bukit tinggi was much better. went on snapshot crazy. took some really nice pics there. i think i had more fun in bukit tinggi then i did in genting.


had nothing better to do.

really like the lighting in this one

i love this pic. fell in love....*sigh! looks great in black and white!

i love the motion in this pic.

think this is pretty nice. blur smoking

god i love candid pictures!

i love this picture. love the lighting! andy smoking!

men in uniform....yummmm!!!

trip was pretty cool over all. met a really cute guy there. will keep in touch with him. to cute to let go.... yummm.....

what are you trying to tell me

i had a bad dream last night. bryan and i was forced to get married. and the wedding was on this courtyard. and everyone had to sit on the ground. i couldnt see him from outside so i thought he didnt show up for the wedding, then as i was escorted by my dad onto the courtyard, he didnt see me coming so he thought i didnt show up and he was so worried so he went out to look for me. i remember asking my sister why everyone wasnt happy and she said "how do you expect to everyone to be happy when your marrying inside the family?" then bryan walks back in with sweedish and they were both smoking. when he saw i was there, he lightened up and the ignored me completely. the wedding was shared with another couple, my cousin. he didnt even satnd by my side during the ceremony. he just ignored me completely. instead my sister had to stand next to me. i remember feeling really sad as i looked over at bryan. he didnt want to marry me, and i would be unhappy as long as he didnt love me. then i woke up in pool of my own tears.

i dont know why i had the dream. i dont know why i remember it so clearly. why i cant get it out of my head. what does it mean. what did what my sister say mean. i know there is a reason why i had the dream. it wasnt any odinary dream. theres something in that dream i should know about. what is it? i just dont know.

so fucking affected

going up to genting tomorrow. i hope i have fun! need to let lose. its about time. havent let lose in a while! not sure if i should go! to complicated! too many strings attached. too many people will get upset, why cant i just do what i want to do and stop worrying if people are going to get hurt or not! why do i care? why do they affect me so much? why?

this charade

im tired of lying to everyone, sick of pretending that everything is fine. its not im lying to everyone and im cheating them. the only person im honest to is myself... and i dont know how long i can put on this charade. im getting tired. the reason im pretending is so i dont hurt anybody. if i told the truth everyone i know would be hurt so i cant, i cant tell them what im like. cant show them what i really feel...