I'm trying to do different things to distract myself. I want to forget him and things that remind me of him. Cos i know this is getting unhealthy. If he has no concern for me why should i care about him. So im doing different stuff, just trying to keep myself busy.
I was checking an old chat (imvu) and then i see that hes on my friends list. I didnt even know he was on imvu! Where can i go where he doesnt haunt me.
So im getting involved with an old fling again. Hes always been nice to me and hes a good guy. But with him i see so much of him that i wish was different. That i wish was more like the person im trying to forget. I wish we had the same passion, i wish he was just as crazy and fun.
The thing about him (the person i want to forget) is that hes my total equal, and i love that in a partner. We can do the same crazy things and have arguments over religion for hours. I love that he mentally stimulates me. I love the fact that hes practically my twin cos we are so alike in so many ways. And i miss that. And every guy that has come by for a year+ has been compared to him. I know it, i just didnt want to admit him. I wouldnt say i love him, cos i dont think i do. Its just that ive put him on a pedestal, a benchmark. He is my ideal man. I just need to forget that he is, and move on to next best or better.
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